You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
