Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Nicole vs. Life
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
