so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
