Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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