Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
