Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
