i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
