so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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