So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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