don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Someone came in the potted fern
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
