my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
