Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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