I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I need to stop coming to work sober
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
