i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
