i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
