it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
