please come you make the beer taste better
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
