then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
no you cant smoke seaweed
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
