Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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