I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
