3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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