I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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