32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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