Pappa wants mamma naked
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
