i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
