You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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