Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
