bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
