Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
