I wannas sexs uuuuu
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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