I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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