and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
