i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
