Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
