Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
