Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize