i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
