what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
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