I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
