He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
