How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
