so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
