So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
