i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
