I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
