Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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