I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Everything about him screamed your future.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
