We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Operation Purity has been aborted
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
did i walk over a car last night?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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