Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize