Having a random hookup so left but love u
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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