I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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