I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
