Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
