Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i came on her dog
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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