Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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