weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
