for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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