She announced her abortion via fbk
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
