Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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