i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
