Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
