at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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