I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I should be sponsored by Trojan
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
