i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
