TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
