maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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