he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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