What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
