um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
