i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
