just come out here and I will go home with you...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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