Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
