I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
