I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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