his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
