You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
