i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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