After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
The ass gains better be worth it
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