Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
