Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
