now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
